Being an Expat Can be Lonely. Here’s How I’m Finding Friends in a New Country
Picture this - you’ve gotten through all the logistics, visa tribulations, and ups and downs of moving your entire life to a new country. You’re thrilled to be in Portugal, but now you have a new challenge . . . making friends. Being an expat can get lonely, especially if you don’t know anyone or have any family with you. Here’s how I’m finding friends in a new country and how you can find your people, too.
Expat Meetups in Portugal
One of the easiest and fastest ways to meet new people is to find expat meetups in your city. Many groups in Portugal host free or paid networking events open to anyone.
Why are expat meetups among the quickest ways to make new friends? Well, you already have something in common with everyone there. You picked up your life and moved to a new country! Being an expat, from any country, means having a unique life experience that only other expats can identify with. Yes, you’ll get asked the same questions again and again about where you’re from, why you moved, etc. But you’ll be asking these questions of everyone else, too, and it’s a great way to get to know people. Just search “Expat Meetup” plus your city on sites like Meetup.com, Eventbrite, or just Google, and you’ll find options.
In Portugal, particularly, it’s challenging to integrate with the locals. In my experience, the Portuguese are very friendly, but getting asked over for dinner is a tough invite to get. Locals already have their family and friend groups. And even though many younger Portuguese people speak English, the language and cultural barriers still make things more complicated. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try - after all, you haven’t come all this way NOT to make Portuguese friends and be part of the culture, right? It took me about a year to make a Portuguese friend that I regularly see and talk to, so don’t give up! But, all I’m saying is that it’s easier to make friends who have some similar life experience when you first arrive.
Expats Everywhere hosts meetups for its Patreon subscribers, and I’ve attended several of them. My husband and I were able to meet other couples quickly, plus find some new friends for our young daughter. This has been especially helpful for me, because even though being an expat is a unique experience, being an expat parent to a child who’s growing up as a foreigner brings even further challenges. Having met a great group of other moms through meetups and my daughter’s school has gotten me through tough times of transition.
Explore Your Hobbies and Interests
One of the best ways I’ve made wonderful friends here in Portugal is by engaging in my hobbies and exploring other interests. I love to read, write, and explore music and art. One of the first things I did after arriving in Porto was join a book club at my local English book store, Rosebuds. I wasn’t sure what to expect at the group. To my surprise, the book club was full of Portuguese locals and other foreigners. I met another young woman there who later became one of my best friends here.
I found an open poetry reading early on when I moved here at Casa da Horta, a community organization and restaurant. It was one of the best experiences I’ve had in Portugal, and I met so many kind people while engaging in art, which made me feel connected not only to them but also to my new home.
Plus, I recently found and joined a group called Just Write Porto - an organization of more than a thousand writers here in the city and throughout the country. They’re hosting a November writing challenge with several meetups planned. So far, I’ve met people from all over the world and hope to deepen the relationships I’ve started. I even met someone who runs an expat, English-speaking theater group - acting is another one of my passions, and I’m thrilled by the opportunity to get back on stage.
There are endless opportunities to join interest-based groups in Portugal. They don’t have to be run by expats. I’ve seen many workshops held in Portuguese and English. It can be overwhelming to put yourself out there with strangers, but that’s also a beautiful part of being a foreigner in a new country. And if you can’t find what you’re looking for - start one yourself!
Meet New Friends Through Work and Co-Working Spaces
Portugal is in an exciting position, with significant opportunities for startups and innovation. This means there’s been an increasing amount of investment brought into the country. As such, leadership and networking programs are continually offered to entrepreneurs, digital nomads, and anyone looking to develop new skills and connections.
I found a women’s entrepreneur and leadership group called SheSapiens that operates throughout Portugal. Through this group, I connected with an Instagram influencer who shared her life in Porto and offered a private social media training session with me. We discovered that we both love to read, and for the past year, she’s invited me to her book swap events that she personally hosts. This is a group of lovely, friendly women from all over the world, and I’m grateful to be included.
With the boom of digital nomads in the country, co-working spaces are also popping up all over Portugal. And many of them, like the Social Hub, host after-work happy hours, trainings, and other networking events. I haven’t attended one of these personally, but I’ve heard from others who have that these meetups offer a lot of value.
Being an Expat is a Lesson in Patience and Connection
Starting over in a new country is hard, but you’re not alone. There are various opportunities to make new friends and find your community in Portugal.
Just remember that your friends can change over time here. I’ve met others who have been fast friends, only to find that we ultimately don’t vibe well. And that’s okay. I’m someone who needs at least a few deep friendships to thrive, and those kinds of relationships take time to develop. Sometimes, even though I’ve met a lot of people, I can still feel lonely. But I’m putting myself out there and putting in the work to connect and develop friendships.
I’m a big believer in found family. And with time, exploration, and an open mind, you can find your found family in Portugal, too.
Check out ExpatsEverywhere’s newest video: What Retiring “Too Early” in Portugal Really Looks Like
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